My Favorite Topics are Food and Transportation

Food Topic 1:
Yesterday I whipped up some long-life cheese in a bowl, cooked some noodles in the hotpot, stirred it all together, and ate some relatively delicious macaroni and cheese.

Food Topic 2:
Distraught over not being able to eat fresh fruits and vegetables on a regular basis (despite finding myself in the Carribbean), I decided I would climb the mango tree just outside the gate. I stared at it from the inside for quite a while before setting my sights on a beautiful and ripe-looking piece of fruit. I figured that since it was late on Sunday afternoon, there wouldn't be too much of an audience to witness my attempts at shimmying up this tree. However, upon opening the gate I realized that there was indeed a large enough audience to render my planned acquisition of this perfect mango little more than an unsafe spectacle. Also, there was a fresh splatter of pee (there are fresh splatters of pee along most houses, trees, and standing objects) at the bottom of the tree; I wasn't too excited about beginning my ascent in a puddle of dirt and urine. Still craving a fresh and juicy source of vitaimins, I went back inside, pouted, and ate raisins instead.

Transportation Topic 1:
On Friday, I spent over an hour driving with Bernard to a rural mobile clinic. Bernard had the radio tuned to some lively Haitian music and we played air piano for a while. I know I've spoken of Haitian modes of transportation previously, but my amazement never ceases. On this particular morning, careening along uneven dirt roads, we were passing busloads (retired yellow school buses shipped from abroad) of people squeezed 3 and 4 to a seat. I remember being perturbed at age 12 when the school bus was so full that I was wedged between a couple of girls much larger than my petite self. That was child's play compared to the buses in Haiti. Filling the inside of these buses until people are squirting out of the windows is not enough; the tops are also dripping with people. The roads are so dirty and dusty that a truck left idle on the side for a single day will bear a greater resemblance to a clay statue than the vehicle it purports to be. From what I understand, it's more common for Haitians to travel by a retired school bus than air from Cap Haitien to Port-au-Prince. This means that their bodies are squeezed in or on large buses whose wheels cling to the eroded and dusty single-lane roads of denuded mountains. If they look over the side, they'll see vehicle graveyards.

Transportation Topic 2:
Apparently the chances of bodily harm while using tap-taps are equally extreme. These converted pick-up trucks haven't reached capacity until 3 people are sitting up front, 10 people are sitting on 2 benchs in the truck's covered bed, 3 people are hunched over in a modified standing position between the two rows of sitting people, and 3 people stand on the truck's bumper. That comes to a grand total of 19 bodies. Not included in that calculation are bags of rice, broomsticks, grocery bags, babies, or empty buckets. Have I mentioned that the horns on these tap-taps can be the vehicles' most interesting features. They all sound the same, but their methods of employment are widely variable. For example, on a single day last week, I rode in one tap-tap whose horn was sounded by pressing the air-conditioning button (there was of course no air-conditioning); later in the afternoon, I rode in a tap-tap whose driver had to grab a wire hanging near the steering column and touch it to the key in the ignition in order to complete the electrical circuit that sounded the horn. Ingenuity I tell you.

The fare for such an adventure is equal to 14 or 18 cents. But sometimes the real cost is much greater for those standing on the back bumper. Should a car following too closely behind fail to press its brakes in time, the lower legs of the standing passengers are often crushed. Back home, such an injury may require surgery, a cast, and temporary immobility. Here, such an event is far more than inconvenient; it leads to either permanent crippling or amputation. This is why Dumel (and every other person I know) advises me not to take those tap-taps offering standing room only. I have every intention of heeding this advice.

Now, I am going to work on perfecting the art of impromptu macaroni and cheese. And then I'm going to read some Bill Bryson. Today is Sunday, and I'm taking the day off.